PSTM: Surfing Emotions

The Idea: There is one quote I come back to again and again from Chris Williamson (although you’ll see the same idea all over the place)

“I don’t solve emotions, I surf them.”

Let me break that down with a recent story of mine.

The other night I felt anxious. Not just a little, a lot. I was restless, I was agitated, and worst of all, I had no reason for the feeling. Or, maybe to be more accurate, no reason that I could pinpoint.

It got really bad, enough that I put down the book I had and thought “maybe I should grab a drink.”

I was getting up when the thought occurred: just sit with it. I thought, what is this feeling going on inside me? I asked myself what was the cause, and nothing solid came up. I looked at how it felt, and I noticed a tightness behind my eyes. A clenching sensation in my chest. It felt like I was vaguely off, but there was nothing screaming for my attention, no real reason. I sat there and thought about the emotion, let the feelings play in me.

I asked myself if this was really all that bad, and I started to admit that, no, no it wasn’t. It was just a passenger coming along for the ride of life. A little buddy that I didn’t understand, but had the right to be there.

I’ve been tracking what I’ve been eating these last few months, and I later realized what happened: I had skipped my lunch. I had way undershot my calories for the day.

All the self searching and anxiety and unsettled day…it was hunger. Unidentified, undiagnosed, worrisome hunger. If I’d silenced the emotion, I might never have noticed the source. Emotions are to be listened to, not overcome.

I don’t solve emotions, I surf them. They don’t need solutions. You only need to give them attention. Just listen.

The Quote:

The Advice:

Ask yourself what emotion you’ve tried to solve in the past few weeks. Worked when anxious? Turned on the TV when you were depressed about your life? Something else, big or small? Look at it, it may surprise you what’s down there when you don’t solve it.