PSTM: Opposites and Self-Loathing 2/12/26

4 minute read.

The Idea: Negative can be more clarifying and more illuminating than the positive.

I came across a rarely used word that you only see in rhetoric or theology: Apophasis.

In Rhetoric, it is when you call attention to something by saying you aren’t going to mention it. Think about that fight when your partner says “I’m not even going to bring up what you did last time…” Well, yeah, you did just bring it up.

Or if you’re a little more high brow, Kayne West in Gold Digger “I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger” well, by saying you’re not saying it, you’ve put it in all of our minds.

The theological concept is just as interesting. It’s defining things by their opposite. You see this a lot in the old school discussions of what god is. God is NOT finite, NOT subject to time, NOT subject to decay, etc etc.

It’s a useful concept to break things up. We tend to think in positives, but the negative can be freeing and shake up the mold. So next time you get a chance, think about what you’re not going to do or say for a change. Who exactly you’re not, and what you’re emphatically not saying at the top of your lungs.

The Quote: This one haunts my days and nights. I came across it when I was still struggling because I was eating too much cheesecake (that sadly narrows it to only a 20 year time frame)

The Advice: Take a day from taking yourself so seriously. Most things you’re worried about aren’t going to happen, you only live once, and in 1,000 years most of what you’re worried about won’t matter anyways.